Love Through Time and Space: Someone Like You, And All You Know And How You Speak.

It's been a year since I started writing here sharing this journey.

It's been a journey more incredible than anything I could have imagined, or that I thought I was ready for. It's taken me back to San Diego and New York City, and on to the to the Omega Institute and to Columbia University and to Rosslyn Chapel and to the Salisbury Centre and to Stonehenge and Virginia.

I have met members of my soul group. All over the world. I have soul connections right now in Michigan, Pittsburg, Taiwan, Toronto, Omaha, Bakersville, NYC, New Delhi, Mumbai, Paris, China, Dallas, North Carolina, Vermont, Manchester, London, and even here in Edinburgh, my home town, which never felt like a place I came from or could stay in, which I have grown to love.

Something happened.

It feels like I opened myself up to trusting something that I knew to be present, but that I didn't fully understand, and in return it moved to reveal itself to me in parts, patiently waiting for me to be ready to understand one piece at a time.

What I have learnt so far, I think, is that it comes in pieces: you never know the whole answer - you just know what you have to do next, and you have an intuition about where that's leading you. And you have to just trust that. No matter how it challenges you to do so.

I don't know the reasons why some things I am experiencing are happening. I don't know their meaning. I worry about what I want and what I see as occurring before me.
I worry that I am wrong. I worry that I am reading meaning in to nothingness.

But if I were to take away the spiritual truth, as I have come to understand it, of each relationship and situation in my life at present, then I would be left with a set of chance sequential unreleated events without any independent or interrelated meanings; but what resonates within me, outwith me, is that I am here, at the end of, or in the middle of, a series of unlikely coincedences and accidents that have delivered me quite deliberately to the most intense, stretching, challenging, incredible, beautiful and moving set of relationships, opportunties and experiences that I have yet known.

So I have come to trust. That what happens is you use your intuition to feel the way of your overall course. And then you SURRENDER in the moment.

You have to get out of your own way. You have to give up the resistence. You have to give up judging. You have to give up control.

You just have to be committed to being in complete integrity, willing to take the next step, the tiny, tiny step to express your whole and authentic self and trust that what happens after that will be good, and trusting that with every step the path becomes clearer.

It's only in looking back now that I see how much clearer the path is now then it was then, a year ago.

I heal. I teach. I write. I create.
I am on my way to NYC and to California. Closer. Surer.
It all happened. Is happening.

There's more to come: there's a place of my own again, a lasting and deep and true relationship with someone who adores and cherishes me and whom I adore and cherish in return; a short term move to NYC followed by settling in California with a family of my own; there's global work for ANH, teaching THE MODERN GIRL'S GUIDE TO SPIRITUALITY in NYC and SAN DIEGO, there's working with the CHOPRA CENTRE and a wellbeing center in LAGUNA BEACH and books and making films and a whole life full of creativity and healing and learning and giving.

I've never felt more sure it's all there. Lined up.
And in truth I've never felt less certain in my whole life about how, or exactly who with.

I think what I have learnt is what I taught at THE MODERN GIRL'S GUIDE TO SPIRITUALITY last night:

S is for SACRED, and for the SHADOW, and for STILLNESS.

And above all, S is for SURRENDER.