There come's a point when you look back and wonder.
When I started keeping this blog five years ago, I had the intuitive feeling that Laguna Beach could be my favorite place in the world. I had the crazy idea that I believed in angelic guidance and these angels kept guiding me to go to Laguna Beach. At the time I lived in Edinburgh. I had never been been there.
I came to California in Dec 2007, and the night before I was due to fly back to Edinburgh, I visited Laguna Beach for the first time.
When I was leaving, my sister in law bought me a sweater at the Hobie Surf Store downtown.
It had Laguna Beach written on it.
When we were in the middle of paying for it the store assistant said to me:
'Oh but you live here, right?'
I said 'No. I live in the UK. I'll fly back tomorrow.'
A man walked in to the Hobie Store and walked straight up to me. He said:
'No, but you do live here. Sometimes you're here, and sometimes you're in the UK. But you're definitely based out of here...'
I said, 'No, I guess you have someone else you're thinking about. It's not me. I fly back to Edinburgh tomorrow'.
He fixed me with a stare and said, 'No, it's you. You live here. You are her. You have the accent, and you're British and you live here, but you're sometimes back in the UK.'
He turned around and walked out the store.
My sister in law, store assistant and I thought it was a funny incident.
Truth to tell, it really unsettled me.
The store assistant said,
'I guess it's someone else then, but seriously - you really look like her and talk like her. Like, really.'
***
24 hrs later, I was back in Edinburgh.
I got myself to work. I thought I'd stop at the bank on the way.
When I looked in my wallet, none of my credit or debit cards were there. Not one.
Still jetlagged I tried to think what I'd done at various airports and on my last night in California.
I remembered: I'd been to the ATM in Laguna Beach, walked in to the Hobie surf store and started paying for something when the man had interrupted the purchase insisting that I lived there.
I thought - how can you have left all your money in Laguna Beach? Why on earth would you do that?
***
The next day I called the Hobie store in Laguna Beach.
I said 'I was there on Saturday. I had this conversation with the girl who was serving me. This weird guy came in and interrupted...did I leave my cards there?'
She paused and said
'Oh yeah, we have all your cards. But you live here, right? We figured you'd come in today or something to collect them. When's good for you?'
I was just sort of silent.
***
Back in Edinburgh I wished I was back in Laguna Beach.
I meditated and asked my angels a question - why would I leave all my cards in Laguna Beach: my access to funds. Symbolically, money makes us financially independent and solid - and healing from a divorce, nothing was more present in my mind than just wanting my own security, stability and home again - only I had left all my money in Laguna Beach.
After the deepest of meditations I would always come out with the firmest of answers -
Oh.
***
Fast forward five years: it's 2012.
I've lived in La La Jolla happily for two and a half years of my life.
Two weeks ago I handed in my notice on my apartment, getting ready to leave California and fly back to the UK.
Only something happened. Something life changing has happened.
A series of events, surprising, beautiful, and magical unfolded in these last two weeks that asked me to reflect very deeply before getting on the plane. And I decided going wasn't the right answer. I didn't fly to go back to the UK.
There's a life I created here and it was asking me to commit to it.
There are people whose hearts are set on me, and whose hearts I don't want to break.
There's someone who needs care and attention at the end of her life, and she's in Newport Beach.
And now I, in order to support someone who can support her - now I live in the next town south, half way between the two cities I work out of Los Angeles and San Diego:
I live in Laguna Beach.
***
I've been here for a week. I've been silent.
Unable to speak.
Silently witnessing the miracle of what's happening here.
The miracle of how without me making a single conscious move or any directed effort to get here, I end up living in Laguna Beach.
The miracle of how as soon as I decided to step out of fear, and commit to love, as soon as I made a private decision to make a commitment in a very personal relationship - I end up by chance and without any pre meditation in Laguna Beach.
***
Immediately - within a day of me making that decision - the health crisis of a loved on demanded that I move up here.
And now, what the store assistant and the unknown stranger said many years ago - it's true.
I live here.
Sometimes I'm in the UK.
But I live here.
***
This to me is a miracle. A miracle of events set in motion many years ago.
I feel like I am in dream that is being a dreamt by a force larger than me.
Perhaps the force of Love through Time and Space.
When I started keeping this blog five years ago, I had the intuitive feeling that Laguna Beach could be my favorite place in the world. I had the crazy idea that I believed in angelic guidance and these angels kept guiding me to go to Laguna Beach. At the time I lived in Edinburgh. I had never been been there.
I came to California in Dec 2007, and the night before I was due to fly back to Edinburgh, I visited Laguna Beach for the first time.
When I was leaving, my sister in law bought me a sweater at the Hobie Surf Store downtown.
It had Laguna Beach written on it.
When we were in the middle of paying for it the store assistant said to me:
'Oh but you live here, right?'
I said 'No. I live in the UK. I'll fly back tomorrow.'
A man walked in to the Hobie Store and walked straight up to me. He said:
'No, but you do live here. Sometimes you're here, and sometimes you're in the UK. But you're definitely based out of here...'
I said, 'No, I guess you have someone else you're thinking about. It's not me. I fly back to Edinburgh tomorrow'.
He fixed me with a stare and said, 'No, it's you. You live here. You are her. You have the accent, and you're British and you live here, but you're sometimes back in the UK.'
He turned around and walked out the store.
My sister in law, store assistant and I thought it was a funny incident.
Truth to tell, it really unsettled me.
The store assistant said,
'I guess it's someone else then, but seriously - you really look like her and talk like her. Like, really.'
***
24 hrs later, I was back in Edinburgh.
I got myself to work. I thought I'd stop at the bank on the way.
When I looked in my wallet, none of my credit or debit cards were there. Not one.
Still jetlagged I tried to think what I'd done at various airports and on my last night in California.
I remembered: I'd been to the ATM in Laguna Beach, walked in to the Hobie surf store and started paying for something when the man had interrupted the purchase insisting that I lived there.
I thought - how can you have left all your money in Laguna Beach? Why on earth would you do that?
***
The next day I called the Hobie store in Laguna Beach.
I said 'I was there on Saturday. I had this conversation with the girl who was serving me. This weird guy came in and interrupted...did I leave my cards there?'
She paused and said
'Oh yeah, we have all your cards. But you live here, right? We figured you'd come in today or something to collect them. When's good for you?'
I was just sort of silent.
***
Back in Edinburgh I wished I was back in Laguna Beach.
I meditated and asked my angels a question - why would I leave all my cards in Laguna Beach: my access to funds. Symbolically, money makes us financially independent and solid - and healing from a divorce, nothing was more present in my mind than just wanting my own security, stability and home again - only I had left all my money in Laguna Beach.
After the deepest of meditations I would always come out with the firmest of answers -
'Because your security and stability and success is in Laguna Beach. That's where it happens. It's waiting for you.'
***
Fast forward five years: it's 2012.
I've lived in La La Jolla happily for two and a half years of my life.
Two weeks ago I handed in my notice on my apartment, getting ready to leave California and fly back to the UK.
Only something happened. Something life changing has happened.
A series of events, surprising, beautiful, and magical unfolded in these last two weeks that asked me to reflect very deeply before getting on the plane. And I decided going wasn't the right answer. I didn't fly to go back to the UK.
There's a life I created here and it was asking me to commit to it.
There are people whose hearts are set on me, and whose hearts I don't want to break.
There's someone who needs care and attention at the end of her life, and she's in Newport Beach.
And now I, in order to support someone who can support her - now I live in the next town south, half way between the two cities I work out of Los Angeles and San Diego:
I live in Laguna Beach.
***
I've been here for a week. I've been silent.
Unable to speak.
Silently witnessing the miracle of what's happening here.
The miracle of how without me making a single conscious move or any directed effort to get here, I end up living in Laguna Beach.
The miracle of how as soon as I decided to step out of fear, and commit to love, as soon as I made a private decision to make a commitment in a very personal relationship - I end up by chance and without any pre meditation in Laguna Beach.
***
Immediately - within a day of me making that decision - the health crisis of a loved on demanded that I move up here.
And now, what the store assistant and the unknown stranger said many years ago - it's true.
I live here.
Sometimes I'm in the UK.
But I live here.
***
This to me is a miracle. A miracle of events set in motion many years ago.
I feel like I am in dream that is being a dreamt by a force larger than me.
Perhaps the force of Love through Time and Space.
